Home Sweet Home?

We made an offer on a house this week. Officially. We didnt' get it.

I rode the roller coaster of emotions but not as hard or as fast as I could have. Was I anxious? sleepless? imagining oh fuck! what if we get it?! oh fuck! what if we don't?! Yes. All that & then some. On a scale of one to ten where one is mildly disappointed and ten is devastated I actually would say three. Or maybe more frustrated or challenged.

I am so over this rental place without a backyard really or room to have more than a couple of people over. The traffic noise is insane & keeps me awake at night. The landlord still hasn't fixed the house from when the neighbor drove into it two years ago almost. We've seen a mouse in the house. There have been shootings on the street. It's time to go.

Feels like I have been looking forever. I know what I want & I don't think it's unrealistic.

Or is it?! I just want somewhere to nest where I can paint the walls & make it mine.

I am trying not to lose hope in the whole process. It's not easy.