Tamara’s Top Fifteen Music Experiences Ever

1st Lollapalooza

Harriet Island, St. Paul, MN. 1991

Jane’s Addiction, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Violent Femmes, NIN, and Henry Rollins all rolled into one. Actually all I remember is Jane’s Addiction and Siouxsie, but I was right up front stage left, dancing the whole time and my mind was blown.

Grateful Dead

Compton Terrace. Tempe, AZ. 1992

This was epic just getting to the show. My friend drove all night long from MN down the middle states. They closed I-40 at Albuquerque due to inclement weather. We inched through the city and turned south. The snow was really, really intense. We shouldn’t have been on the road at all. On 60W, I got sideswiped by a car that was driving way too fast and tried to pass me. He knocked off my driver’s side mirror. A few hours later, I drove off the road. We had to improvise to dig ourselves out. We pulled into the Phoenix metro area early morning on Saturday, December 5th in the early morning to bright sunshine. It all just seemed surreal.

Tori Amos

Barrymore Theater. Madison, WI. 1994

From the Under the Pink Tour. Tori is the only person I’ve ever waited in line all night to get tickets for ever. She was looking right at me - or so it felt. I remember walking home with Steve Ranney to the housing co-operative and being completely blissed out by the experience of the concert. I think we were having verbal orgasms.

Ani Difranco

Champoeg State Park, Oregon. 1997

Ani was my heroine from her 1st album to sometime soon after Little Plastic Castles. In 1997, I had just moved to Portland, OR. I didn’t drive or know anyone yet. I put up a “Ride Wanted” sign at the women’s bookstore on Hawthorne. Some hot girl in a Mustang convertible picked me & my camping gear up. I went off to camp with lesbians for the weekend. I was incredibly shy, but the concert was awesome.

Elliot Smith

La Luna. Portland, OR. 1998

This was a quintessential Portland experience of the time. It was raining out and I remember feeling incredibly & inexplicably sad.

Tricky

Plan B? Portland, OR. 1998?

Maxinquaye was often on repeat at home at the time. Pre-Millenium Tension was out. It was a small club. Smoky - back when bars were dark and thick with smoke. Tricky was energetic, calling up a huge range of emotions. I was entranced.

Brendon Perry & Kristin Hersch

Crystal Ballroom. Portland, OR. 1999

I never saw Dead Can Dance, but I did get to see this show!

I also saw Kristin Hersch right before this in a Borders Bookstore. That was intimate – imagine as many people peering around bookshelves as it was possible to get in one store to see a woman and her guitar.

Rasputina

Wow Hall. Eugene, OR. 2004

I first went to work that day in Portland with my camping gear, took several busses including the Amtrak bus to Eugene to end up at Steve and Rayn’s house. We went to the concert before setting up camp for the Society for Creative Anachronism’s Memorial Day weekend event. My tent went up with the daylight about 24 hours after the whole adventure started. I love the cello rock and wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

March Fourth Marching Band

Kaosmosis. Bossanova Ballroom. Portland, OR. 2005-ish?

Which Kaosmosis event to name? They were all epic in their own ways.

Soriah, Blixa and Jarboe

The Old Church. Portland, OR. 2006

Intimate. Haunting. Beautiful.

The whole experience was a one off – you really had to be there.

Massive Attack

Paramount Theater. Seattle, WA. 2006

With Tricky. It was just all kinds of awesome. Thanks to Anabel for getting me there.

Dresden Dolls

Crystal Ballroom. October 15th. 2006

Amanda Fucking Palmer rocks the house for my birthday show.

Solovox

Top of the Mobile Groove Bomb. Baja, Mexico. NYE 2006-2007

I jumped through a Burning Door and celebrated the New Year on the beach in Mexico with some of the most amazing humans on the planet. The suck knob was off for sure.

Time Based Art in the Fountains

Ira Keller and assorted Fountains. Portland, OR. 2008

As part of PICA’s Time Based Art Festival this was a truly unique performance.

The “Indian Summer” was weather perfect for this performance. People were dancing interpretively in the fountains. There were interactive elements of participating with the performances along the way in various parks and fountains. I saw a woman playing a piano IN the Lovejoy Fountain.

PDX Bridge Party

Hawthorne Bridge. Portland, OR. 2010

Wherein Solovox and the Mobile Groove Bomb crew very quickly discover we’ve got more funk than this old bridge can handle.

Year in Review 2011

Year in Review 2011

1) Where did you begin 2011?

Warren & I began 2011 with a week’s staycation. We gathered at Piepo and Natasha’s for New Year’s Eve with a small group of friends. ‘twas a mellow affair.

2. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

I served on the Board of Directors of two non-profits.

I am extremely proud to be one of the founding board members of the Portland Artists Clinic along with Doctors Tineke Malus & Marcea Wiggins, Madame Secretary Erin Malus, Angela Carter, Kristin Theil, and Tim Miller. We created the Articles of Incorporation, wrote the bylaws for the organization and laid the foundation to establishing its 501(c)3 status. We found a physical location within the Falcon Art Community where volunteer health care professionals could start seeing local artists who lack health insurance or who lack access to primary care through their existing insurance. I started a mailing list, created the newsletters for the organization, and participated in community outreach. I intend to continue to support of this amazing group of volunteers and this much needed service as an advisory board member or as specific opportunities present themselves in the future. If you have time or resources to donate I highly recommend checking out the Portland Artists Clinic.

I was elected to serve on the board of directors for Common Ground Wellness Center as it transitions to from a non-profit to becoming a co-operative. The plan is that the old location at Flanders House will operate separately from the bathouse location at NE 33^rd & Alberta to the mutual benefit of both entities. I helped to write the bylaws for the new cooperative business model, took on the role as Secretary and am working with others to develop a policy governance structure for the board of directors. I coordinated volunteers to represent Common Ground Wellness Center at Earth Day, Gay Pride, and one of the Sunday in the Parkways. I am continuing my efforts into membership recruitment for the co-op.

Bought a house.

Warren really deserves credit for buying the house, including his enduring patience as we rejected house after house in a process that dragged out over a year’s time until we found the right one for us. We used a checklist to quantify our deal breakers (walking distance to a grocery store, access to bus lines) and exactly what we wanted (porch for sitting, fruit trees, solarium, shop for Warren). Kudos to Eric Steindler who diligently drove out to show us places after work & on the weekends over & over again. I enacted a goal of no new commitments for about 45 days during the moving process which was much more challenging than I would have expected. No new social engagements for about 45 days. To our friends that helped us move – many, many thanks! We couldn’t have done it without you.

Since moving in we’ve dealt with the joys of homeownership. We bought a refrigerator. Warren had contractors out to replace the six feet of concrete that was missing in the foundation and to reconnect our water line to the city of Portland. We discovered a possum moving around the attic crawl space which we had live trapped and Warren released. Warren took a chain saw to the bushes along the porch it was likely using as access. Next up: new patio, removal of the holly tree and Warren intends to start some raised beds for gardening.

3. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t generally make New Year’s Resolutions. I am happily done with the smoking bit. Next year I would like to go swimming once a week, do more yoga in the mornings and more moving every day. Simplifying and self care are at the top of the list for 2012.

4. Were you in school (anytime this year)?

This is the year I almost went to graduate school. I took Geography 380 – Maps and Geographic Information at Portland State University last winter which was the pre-requisite class for the GIS Graduate Certificate program . I got admitted formally to the program – thanks to all those who offered inspiration, mentorship and who wrote my letters of recommendation: Analisa Fenix, Patti Duncan, Patricia Schechter, John Price & Tom Archer.

I postponed going to graduate school in the spring due to the house buying & moving. I was about to commit & jump into it for fall term. I had even accepted the student loans part (now you too can have $20,000 in debt with three mouse clicks!) when I was offered the job at PECI . I decided to go with the job at the non-profit instead of graduate school.

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several people on my friends list gave birth this year but I wouldn’t say I was close to any of them in particular. Congrats to the new mamas!

6. Any new additions to your family?

My cousin Jason Jasperson & his wife Lisa had a little one recently.

7. Did anyone close to you die?

Justin VanAlstyne removed himself from this world. His passing was honored in Santa Cruz & at the temple at the Burning Man this year – neither of which I was able to attend.

8. Did you know anybody who got married?

Jed & Meghan got married in October. Warren cooked a whole pig onsite at Tidewater for the celebration. Thanks to Kirsteen for helping us get our gear out to the site and back. Rainiest. Wedding. Ever. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Jesse and Melani Banks had a fancy hat wedding which was amazingly fabulous. Where are the pictures?! Good person + good person = more awesomeness. Yes, please.

9. What countries did you visit?

None. Something which I fully intend on focusing on for 2012.

10. How did you earn your money?

My job at the Law Firm and through the temp agency Motus Recruiting while working at PECI from Sept – present.

11. Where did most of your money go?

House buying. Utilities. Food. Student loans.

12. Did you have any encounters with the police?

No.

13. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Simplicity. Swimming. Reading books. Travel – lots of travel.

14. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Tineke & Erin’s announcement that they were moving to Utah. You are dearly missed. You are both friends of a special caliber, friends that make me feel at home & at ease whenever you are in my presence. Friends who inspire me to dream big, to be a better version myself and to share that with my community. I am glad to have been able to head out to eastern Oregon with you for Tineke’s birthday and look forward to more adventures to come. Love you!

15. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

This year was huge. Warren & I bought our first house after a year of seeking. We painted it, moved across town and are slowly making it our own. I finally found a job for a non-profit that I enjoy with smart people and a progressive work culture promoting energy efficiency. Have I mentioned that my job is awesome?! I’ve been honored to volunteer with stellar people with the Portland Artists Clinic and Common Ground Wellness Center.

16. What was your biggest failure?

Letting my self esteem suffer due to the job situation at the law firm before I quit.

17. Did you suffer illness or injury?

None, but I definitely need to work on preventive health & wellness.

18. Where did you go on holidays/vacation?

Camping at the land for Land Prom and Land Olympics. Eastern Oregon and Summer Lake Hot Springs for Tineke’s birthday. NW String Summit at Hornings Hideout with my sister’s family from Montana. The beach with the extended family. Burning Log at Moon Creek over Labor Day weekend.

19. What was the best thing you bought?

Our house.

20. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Warren wins for being the love of my life. You kiss my eyes softly every morning. You find new vegan places for me to eat & are patient with our differences. You pay attention to what I like. You watch more historical movies with costumes. You just answer the question when I ask if you’ve locked the door again. You’ll rescue a damsel in distress when my scooter doesn’t start. While it’d be cool to be the kind of girl who fixes her own scooter, I’m just not her yet. You look after scary noises in the attic and set free the possum. You wire electricity in the house like it’s no big thing all the while saying, “I’m just this guy.” Let it be known that this girl loves you more than words can say not just because of what you do but for who you are inside. Imagine me arms out & smiling on you. You encourage me to be a better person and help me to realize my dreams. Thank you for living everyday with me.

21. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I would have to say Marta McEachern earns this one although there are several at my former place of employment that would be runners up. I have never encountered such consistently negative personalities, worked in such a hostile environment or been demoted before. I don’t usually name names on the negative side of the coin as my face tends to reveal my truth when I don’t approve or like someone. Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt was not the place for me and thankfully I am not employed there any longer.

22. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I have to say I was really, really excited about finding our house and my new job.

23. Did you move anywhere?

Yes!

24. Where do you live now? Woodstock neighborhood.

25. What memorable shows/events/natural phenomena did you see in 2011?

Roastavox, Covers & Blankets, Girls Guide to Dominatrix for Dummies, Zoe Keating @ the Aladdin Theater, Trek in the Park, Shakespeare in the Park, the White Album show.

Year in Review 2010

Year in Review 2010

1) Where did you begin 2010?

Warren & I both took off from work from Xmas to NYE but choose a staycation. We spent a couple of days at Breitenbush , enjoying the hot springs in the snow. For NYE itself, we had a simple date night, cooked together, lit a fire in the fireplace and enjoyed one another’s company. The next day we went to a big party, the aftermath of which Warren documented in his mouse story here:

in the wee hours of a new year
by Warren Washburn on Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 7:17am

having well-wished carl and talking with folks for some time, my social anxiety got the better of me and so we taxied our way home.

settling in for a movie biopic what about monet and the impressionists attempt at defining their world. a sudden shadow lit across the front of the hearthstone.

did you see? we asked each other. yes.

so i stands to me feet and around the coffee table and there behind the firewood bin staring me in the eye, the beast. the horror. please see the attached artist's rendering from eyewitness account.

if you see this animal, kill it dead. will pay cash.


in the subsequent pandemonium i lost track of the critter. pillows were tossed. facelights were used. books were raised as a blunt force weapon. some folks up the street lit off some fireworks. we poured over the living room, kitchen, and laundry area... but no trace of the creature could be found.

but i saw it. it exists.

we convinced ourselves and consoled each other that it was in fact not a TERRORMOUSE with power and toughness of 5/4 and flesh rending incisors but rather, a simple 0/1 mouse. unfortunately, also having the ability to tap and become shrouded until the end of the turn. fucker.

back to the movie. compelling film and pretty to watch.

a spotlight shines across the window. hrm? stop movie.

now, we have four or five of portland's finest police cruisers out in the street. cops are combing through neighbors yards and looking under cars... wtf? are teh mouse police here?

no. in fact, the firecrackers earlier were actually live firearms. the wannabe gangster shitheads across the street decided to pop off a few rounds for giggles and theater. us, completely clueless in our frantic fantasize about the mouse intrusion and potential rodentia attack failing to recognize the truer danger just outside the one-eighth inch of glass partition.

gah. i've got to move us from this place. we don't feel safe anymore.

i guess the moral of the story to be; if the crowd of one hundred or so of your friends laughing and dancing and having fun seems to be a bit much and you just have got to get away from it all... hunker down smile and nod. it'll all be over soon enough.

xoxo

2. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Got pre-approved for a mortgage (although we have not yet purchased a house), purchased and drove a scooter, rode a ferry to the San Juan Islands, watched for whales, saw bald eagles, visited some new hot springs, and saw Crater Lake, applied for graduate school, and attended two different board meetings for two non-profits.

3. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. I am still occasionally working on the not smoking bits (mostly successful at the moment). I appear to now be able to do the social smoking thing, which seems to be a couple of cigarettes a week on average give or take. I really would like to see this go away completely once and for all. I am also still working on the regular exercise goals (less successfully than I would like to admit). My walking steps per day are very good. I spent three weeks monitoring this data. Cardio not so much. I need to get some aerobic exercise and more yoga in.

4. Were you in school (anytime this year)?

I got re-certified in CPR.

I did just apply to graduate school for Spring of 2011 at Portland State University for the Geography Dept’s GIS certificate program. I am on the waiting list for the pre-requisite class for winter term which begins on January 3rd.

5. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not this year.

6. Any new additions to your family?

No.

7. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandfather Merle Anderson passed away on November 26th at the age of eighty-nine.

8. Did you know anybody who got married?

It seemed to be more of year of break-ups, fallings out & that end of the spectrum. Or people holding it together.

Warren & I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary (and our honeymoon) by going to the San Juan Islands for a week around July 4th. We stayed on San Juan Island, in Friday Harbor and also went went to Victoria, BC.

9. What countries did you visit?

Canada. See above.

10. How did you earn your money?

My job at the Law Firm, although I was demoted in March from the Records Department to Support Services.

11. Where did most of your money go?

Rent. Utilities. Food. Student loans. Some entertainment.

12. Did you have any encounters with the police?

Other than the mouse story? No.

13. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

A house. A job which doesn’t make me want to stab people with sporks daily. Plans for travel.

14. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Tineke’s graduation from NCNM. Way to go Dr. Malus!

15. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

This year was one with many challenges for me and my friends. I’d say my biggest achievement is holding on to my optimism.

16. What was your biggest failure?

Not finding a house to buy although we spent the entire year looking for one, actually going into about 150 or so houses, driving by more and looking online. The job situation in its entirety, specifically the demotion and my lack of a solution/better alternative.

17. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Actually this was a healthier year for me. Knocks on wood.

18. Where did you go on holidays/vacation?

Breitenbush; Mt Hood ski trip (with no inner tubbing for me); camping at the land for Land Olympics; San Juan Islands and the Olympic National Park; North Umpqua River/Tokatee Hot Spings/Crater Lake over Labor Day weekend; birthday weekend at the coast; Thanksgiving weekend in Montana with Tracy’s family.

19. What was the best thing you bought?

My scooter!

20. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Warren for starting my days with kisses on my eyes & always making it better; Dylan for showing such amazing courage & keeping her sense of humor and anger when appropriate; Bob New for creating so many volunteer opportunities for Common Ground Wellness Center; Lostmachine Andy, Happy Mel and Jesse Banks & ALL the crew who helped to create the pirate ship and get her to the Black Rock desert (despite differences after the the fact, I still want to acknowledge all the awesomeness that did occur); Matt McCune for coming up with the Ten days of Tanya and providing us with a catalyst for creating more random acts of kindness; Tanya for being an inspiration; and Doctors Tineke and Sija for creating the Portland Artists Clinic.

21. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My employer’s behavior has both appalled and depressed me. I have never encountered such consistently negative personalities, worked in such a hostile environment or been demoted before. This clearly isn’t the job for me. Unfortunately for all the job searching and resuming flinging I have done I have only had one phone interview that didn’t materialize into a new opportunity. I really hope to change this situation in 2011.

22. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My scooter? watching for whales? This year was about appreciating what I have & living in the moment.

23. Did you move anywhere?

Unfortunately, no.

24. Where do you live now? NE Killingsworth; Portland, OR.

25. What memorable shows/events/natural phenomena did you see in 2010?

The Devil & Billy Markham performance at Curious Comedy Theater; Cirque du Soleil’s Kooza performance; Hitchcock’s 39 Steps at Portland Center Stage; Bastille Day at the Joan of Arc Statue; Star Trek in the Park; Mondo Croquet; PDX Bridge Festival where there was concern that Solovox & all the people dancing might literally bring down the Hawthorne Bridge; Margaret Cho live; seeing the swifts at Chapman School; Ten Days of Tanya; last camping weekend of the year at the land; corn maze silliness; Iliad at Portland Center Stage; Anti-Con & santa carolling the mayor; our white elephant & bad sweater party; the White Album show.

Graduate Certificate in Geographic Information Systems??!

I am considering Graduate School. Specifically I am considering the Graduate Certificate in this program: http://www.geog.pdx.edu/GIS/index.php. It's got a lot of the elements I am seeking. No GREs required. Focused program without esoteric and mostly academic content. I already have a Bachelor's in Women's Studies with a minor in English. It requires 20 graduate level credits & offers tangible, marketable skills acquired for job searching when complete. For now I am hoping to take the undergraduate pre-requisiste for people without a geography background this winter quarter. It seems like a good way to find out if I have any aptitude or interest in this. Since I am not formally enrolled at this point, I am re-admitted to PSU as a non-degree student. Wish me luck!

Home Sweet Home?

We made an offer on a house this week. Officially. We didnt' get it.

I rode the roller coaster of emotions but not as hard or as fast as I could have. Was I anxious? sleepless? imagining oh fuck! what if we get it?! oh fuck! what if we don't?! Yes. All that & then some. On a scale of one to ten where one is mildly disappointed and ten is devastated I actually would say three. Or maybe more frustrated or challenged.

I am so over this rental place without a backyard really or room to have more than a couple of people over. The traffic noise is insane & keeps me awake at night. The landlord still hasn't fixed the house from when the neighbor drove into it two years ago almost. We've seen a mouse in the house. There have been shootings on the street. It's time to go.

Feels like I have been looking forever. I know what I want & I don't think it's unrealistic.

Or is it?! I just want somewhere to nest where I can paint the walls & make it mine.

I am trying not to lose hope in the whole process. It's not easy.

Bald Eagles on San Juan Island

We'd already spent a couple of days on Orcas Island, staying at Doe Bay resort eating amazing food some grown in their garden on site, camping, soaking in hot tubs overlooking the bay, observing vistas from old stone look outs, cloud bursting, hiking amongst waterfalls, and whatnot.

We'd taken the ferry over to Friday Harbor, on San Juan Island. We checked into our bed & breakfast where we'd been upgraded, appropriately enough, to the honeymoon suite. The gardens were gorgeous. There was an outdoor hot tub, and since we were the only guests, private enough.

We looked through the local menus to get an idea of where to go for dinner. I picked one menu, without an address. Reservations were made, and later we found out it was the "best restaurant on the island" according to our host. We had some time before dinner. As it was our only night on the island, we decided to drive north to the other harbor. Maybe we'd catch the sunset, see a sculpture garden, have a couple cocktails. We took the road out of town.

Along the way we saw some large birds circling in the sky. We slowed. We looked. "Pull over," I requested. It was a bald eagle. Closer inspection revealed multiple bald eagles. A woman who pulled up on the roadside with us later, excited to show this phenomenal event off to her granddaughters, explained it to me. A farmer periodically put out food for the eagles, randomly so as not to interrupt their feeding cycle or cause dependency issues. The male eagles stacked themselves up in particular tree. Across the road another would call.

One would go, swooping downward.

Then another.

Then another.

Then another.

They were teaching their young to hunt.

The adults would go, then the young.

Then repeat.

Another car pulled over.

After twenty minutes so so it was winding down. The show was over.

I saw bald eagles, and earlier in the day, dorsal fins of whales in the distance.

I don't have a picture of the eagles but I hope to remember.

Window Gazing

Photo by Steve Ranney - Graffiti in Paris

It was one of my co-worker's last days at work yesterday. I have been uncharacteristically crabby with her recently. I rationalized it as it's OK; she's kind of annoying. Or it's been rainy out; I've been crabby with everyone. Or it's just work stress, since I didn't know what was happening or how it would affect me. Would my work load increase by 50%?! It's certainly not her fault. None of these are justifiable reasons to be rude to someone in any case.

Then I looked into the mirror, so to speak and realized that I was jealous of her. Jealous that she could just quit this stupid job, jealous that she gets to enjoy her summer, jealous that she knows what she wants to do and has a plan to do it. She's going to grad school to be a Spanish teacher.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP!

It's time to end the tantrum. Really. It's not helping anyone. If I want to quit my job, travel, enjoy my summer, go to grad school or whatever it is that I dream for myself then I need to make it happen. Moping and being crabby to innocent bystanders is not the solution. I know this. It's fairly obvious.

I am over yesterday's epiphany but I still wanted to write it out as a reminder. Today it's gorgeous and sunny out. I am going to get some breakfast, then look at scooters! Wish me luck that I can find something that fits my personality.